pleased: I don’t want to go through this surgery, and he
was giving me a temporary reprieve. But the waiting is
difficult. During the day, I can usually keep my negative
thoughts at bay with plenty of distractions. But at night,
in the dark and with no distractions, my imagination runs
wild and all of my fears come to the surface and I become
even more anxious.
There are other tests awaiting me — a transesophageal
echo test, a cardiac catheterization and probably some
other tests I don’t care to know about. They all offer more
chances for me to be a highly anxious patient.
So, I live every day in terror, feeling as if a ticking time
bomb is sitting in my chest cavity. While my research tells
me that the chances of a heart attack are slim, I am forced
to be realistic. Most of my family members have died of
My huffing and puffing has become audible, and I avoid
stairs and hills. While I am still walking, I have slowed way
down. My cardiologist advised me to watch for symptoms
such as feeling like a dog is sitting on my chest and when I
walk to be aware of feeling dizzy, lightheaded or faint.
Right now, I feel like I’m at halftime and the score is
going against me. I’m tired and afraid of losing the game.
The second half looks even scarier!
Dr. James Edgerton explains four basic treatment options for heart valve patients.
I live every day in terror,
feeling as if a ticking
time bomb is sitting in
my chest cavity.
Michaeline walks her Boxador pup, Shelby